House Hopping

Adolescent years are a challenge. For everyone involved. Young individuals searching, yearning for their independence though not yet prepared to manage the cost/benefit scales of life. Crazed parents hurt by their child’s sudden rebuttals and scared by both their loss of control and their child’s inability to make consistent good choices. These years are typically speckled with yelling matches, sulking, door slamming, grounding and aren’t often remembered as the glory days. I’m sure we can all remember wishing we could just run away, with only the thought of living on the street and having no money keeping us home.

But children of divorce uniquely have another option. They have somewhere safe to run. Somewhere that is also considered home. Their other parent’s home. And almost every single child of divorce that I know, including myself has done the house hop. For the child, it’s a logical solution. Most likely it has been important to both parents for them to feel the other parent’s home was their home too. So if their current residence isn’t satisfactory, why not try the other? It’s certainly not as tumultuous as moving in with grandma or an aunt. Much better than living in a gutter somewhere. Yes, it is perfectly acceptable to live with a biological parent. Either one of them.

And so the question gets posed. Can I come live with you? But the answer can be tricky. A catch twenty two. For the other parent doesn’t want to say ‘no’. What would that say to their child? A rejection. It would say ‘no, I don’t want you. You don’t live with me and there’s a reason for that.’. But what does ‘yes’ say? It says ‘sure, don’t try to work out your relationship issues. Escape is a perfectly acceptable solution to conflict. So come live here instead.’. How can a parent win? How can the child?

Co-parenting. Pure and simple. Because teenagers are rash. Parents living with teenagers become overwhelmed. And that leaves only one role available to relieve the situation. The moderator. Decisions made out of anger or resentment are never wise and decisions made by teenagers are rarely well thought out. Someone needs to be the voice of reason. Someone not directly involved in the battle but who’s opinion is also valued. And the other biological parent is in the perfect position to take on the job. But as I’ve mentioned before, co-parenting isn’t easy.

And the role of moderator is difficult even by co-parenting standards. Made more difficult if relations with their ex spouse are tenuous or if they have an underlying self interest in custody. And the level of difficulty only increases if they have never had the experience of parenting, really parenting a teenager themselves. But moderating is vital to teaching the child how to positively deal with problems in relationships. Their sense of conflict resolution may already be based on a model of severance or withdrawal due their own view of their parent’s divorce. And it should be vital to any parent not to reinforce that. It’s a pattern they don’t want established. Once the crisis has been moderated between the child and parent, then both parents can discuss the custody agreement with each other. If both are in agreement, changes can be made. For although there is debate among professionals on this topic, I believe that custody issues should never rest on the shoulders of children.

I am still haunted by my own experience with doing the hop. Thirteen hundred miles and a complete breakdown in co-parenting escalated the situation to a level it never needed to go. But as I look around at my ACOD friends, it is rarely such a dramatic event. Just another strange reality in their line up of strange realities. I hopped twice. Once from my mom’s to my dad’s, then from my dad’s to my mom’s. I’ve seen some hop from just once. Others over and over; back and forth. I still carry the guilt of my hop with me. The typical child of divorce. Responsible for everything. Wondering if it was my job to be the moderator instead of the teenager.

House hopping will happen. As long as the decision isn’t made as a means of escape, I don’t really see the harm. Parents should understand that it’s not personal. Look past the pain and realize that it is simply a teenager finding one more way to exercise their independence. It may not be something that your peers with nuclear families have to endure, but your child doesn’t live in a nuclear family. So take solace in the knowledge that your child loves you. Will always love you. Even if they are a little house hopper. I mean really, why shouldn’t a child of divorce get to experience living with both of their parents? The other kids get to. They just don’t have to move to do it.

Carolyn is the founder and primary author of her website As a nearly lifelong child of divorce, she has a profound understanding of what it means to grow up with divorce as well as a gift for writing about her related feelings and experiences. With strong opinions regarding both how divorced parents should conduct themselves and what children of divorce need, she is always striving to provide insight to all involved.

Beach House Decor

“Everyday is a day at the beach!” as the old saying goes, even though we all know we can’t really spend every day at the beach. However, you can experience every day at the beach with beach house decor. If you love the sight of the sand and the surf, then beach house décor is for you! You can wallow in the lazy, hazy days of summer at the shore all year round in every room of your house. And, you don’t have to stop there, as there are items to enhance the outside of you abode as well.

Looking at beach house décor will make you want to lie out on your porch and think of the warm breeze coming off the ocean. Something as simple as adding a wastebasket, embellished with a lovely beach scene can add the drama of a beach setting to any room. Not only will it hold discarded items, but it will do so in a stylish manner. This is an item that anyone, especially those with a fondness for the beach, could enjoy for years to come.

Looking for a fun gift? How about a clock that displays a colorful “surf’s up” scene. This is a great item to give or receive. It can help pass the time with a whimsical twist. Decorating can become fun with beach house décor. You can even highlight your bathroom with the fun, decorative hand painted toilet seat covers featuring seashell designs. As you can see, decorating has no limits.

Today, accents are shown even on the outside of the house. This is why another popular item featuring beach house décor is the hand painted beach mailbox. What better way to establish your decorating ingenuity and make your initial welcoming statement to friends and family than through an outside decorative item?

A beach house decor item is handcrafted with beautiful color and designs and adds the personal, one-of-a-kind look that only comes with this type of item. Whether you purchase one for yourself or as a gift, it will be one that will be as treasured as the sands through time.

With beach house decor, the smell of the sea, the gentle wind from the ocean, and the sound of the waves splashing about will come to life. You can have a vacation year-round even if it is just through decorating expertise. Think about how relaxing and inviting your house can be with just a few simple added touches.

Lisa Mason is a freelance writer with a specialty in Internet content and SEO articles. She has written thousands of articles, hundreds of ebooks and thousands of website pages and related content. She has also authored her own books and works as a consultant to other writers, Internet marketers and Internet businesses.

House Designs

House designs are powerful symbols that you can use to create a statement to the world on who you are. Buildings have a long lifespan and will continue communicating your statement to the world long after your departure. House designs are also a mark of self-actualization.

The initial step to realize your dream house plan is to contact an Architect. Explain to your architect how you want your house to look. You can search on the internet for similar house images and floor plans. This will inspire you to be able o explain to your architect exactly how you want to design your house.

You can also explain to your architect on what statement or symbol you may wish your house to communicate through design. At this stage, your budget will be important in that it will dictate the size of the house you will have. Mortgage finance is available from Housing Finance, KCB Savings and Loan, Barclays, Equity Bank, Standard Chartered, Stanbic or any other financial institution in Kenya.

The architect will incorporate the design and symbols into a form and will work out functionality from here. Functionality involves how spaces relate to each other e.g. the kitchen should be near the dining room, the bedrooms should be located privately away from the living room, the construction of the structure should be structurally sound and in conformity to the Building Code and all laws governing construction of houses.

Through use of 3 dimensional graphic design software such as ArchiCAD, your architect should be able to present to you the house in 3 D graphic view for you to make your recommendations and changes. This process will continue till you are satisfied with the house design.

Your architect will print the house plan in A1 size format and make 4 copies of blueprint. He will submit the drawings to the relevant local Authority in Kenya, in Nairobi, the City Council.
The Council will go through the drawings to confirm if it conforms to the Kenya Building Code and thus habitable.

Once approvals are granted, usually after a few weeks, you can now move on to the next stage: Construction.
In this stage, you can have your Quantity Surveyor come up with Bills of Quantities, i.e. a breakdown of all the materials and quantities to be used in the house and an estimated cost of construction per item. With this blank document[without the price component], you can invite several building contractors to quote for the construction of the house.with the help of your architect and quantity surveyor, you can select the best in terms of past experience on similar construction and pricing.

After the selection, you then get into contract with the contractor and your architect supervises the contractors work to ensure that he conforms to the design and the agreed quality and workmanship.
Construction contracts in Kenya are available at the Architectural Association Of Kenya offices, Professional center, Nairobi, Kenya.

Once the contractor is through with construction as per the drawings, you can then move in to your dream house and live comfortably ever after.

Frank Gichuhi Is A World Reknown Architect Who Specialises In Design Of Unique Buildings And Researches On Current Trends In Construction And Real Estate REAL ESTATE SOLUTIONSYou Can Also Add Your Views About Architectural Design, Construction And Real Estate On His Blog Here REAL ESTATE SOLUTIONS

How to Choose the Best Crate For Your Kitten

One of the most useful things you can have if you have a new kitten, or kittens, is a special pen, dog crate, or indoor kennel. These are available from pet shops, or you may even be able to borrow one – they collapse down when you are not using them. They are always useful to have at a later date if you are introducing new animals to the household or if your cat needs to be confined because it is ill or injured. These are also recommended when people take on a new puppy, as they are excellent for safety, to help with toilet training, and to give the pup a place it recognizes as its den.

In the first few weeks after you bring your kitten home, a crate is a great asset. If you have other animals it makes introductions simpler and safer. It will also enable you to confine the kitten when you are not watching it and know that it is safe. Kittens get into all sorts of mischief and into all types of small spaces; they will sample electric wires or escape from open windows if they get bored or just because they are very inquisitive. Putting them in the pen at night and when you are out of the house means you can relax about their safety. For the kitten, it is a den that it is familiar with and feels secure inside.

The crate should be large enough to allow your kitten to move around inside and to be able to accommodate a bed, a litter box, and a bowl of water or food. You can line the bottom with newspaper to catch any spills from the litter box or if the water bowl gets turned over. You can also put a blanket or cover over it if you want the kitten to feel more secure or just to quiet it down. Kittens take to them very well and are quite happy when inside. You can let the kitten out to venture into certain rooms or the whole house, but it will know where to come back to find its bed and litter box, and you will often find the kitten has gone back inside for a nap.

Deciding where to place the pen may simply depend on where you have space. A large kitchen can be ideal. It gives you quick access to water, food, and cleaning equipment and is usually nice and warm. It is the center of the home. People come and go, and there is usually lots of activity for the kitten to watch; it gives it the chance to get used to the comings and goings within the house and to those who live and visit there. It allows for safe meetings with other pets and lets them get used to one another. The dining or living room is also a good site. You may want to have the kitten in a quiet place initially, but it should be able to experience the family and your lifestyle after a week or so, depending on whether you have other animals you want to introduce.

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Taking Care of Your Electronics

With places that provide iPhone parts and Macbook parts, you do not need to worry because if something does go wrong, you do not have to replace the whole thing. If you are a businessman or woman, chances are you will be carrying around that laptop with you from work to home and if that is the case, you will probably want to buy or have a case that is well padded. That way if it bumps into anything, it will be protected no matter what.

A few reasons why laptops or really any electronics get damaged is because people take them too many places without the protection they need. When you travel, keep it in the proper case and constantly make sure you know where it is. If someone sees a laptop sitting alone, depending on who they are, they might take the opportunity to take it. If you are in a bigger city, it is even more likely. If your laptop does get stolen and you have important documents or passwords that people should not get a hold of, it could be an issue. To prevent this from happening, always back up your files and keep them in a safe place at home as well as on your computer. As for you passwords, keep them in a secure document with a password that only you know.

A few other things that could go wrong are things like food spills and children. When kids get a hold of a laptop when they are too young to handle it, they can be dropped or things could get spilled on it. If you have an office or a room where you can keep it up at a high level that is the best way to make sure it is safe. Otherwise, when you are not paying attention, who knows what could go wrong. Also, if you can avoid eating anywhere near your computer, that could prevent a lot of problems. Food and drinks can be sticky and ruining a keyboard on a laptop can badly damage the entire computer.

Viruses and things that can mess up your computer internally are not easily fixed by a new part. To avoid this, only go on websites that you can trust and do not click on things that do not look legitimate. You can buy software for the computer that protects against anything that will harm it.

Laptops also tend to get too hot if they are placed on a rug or blanket or something that does not let the laptop breathe so it is a good idea to prop up the laptop where the vents are. You can buy tables that let the air circulate or you could make your own makeshift one by propping it up with a doorstopper or something like it. Remember to always keep your laptop protected on the inside and out and you will be able to keep it in shape for a good amount of time.

Connor Sullivan has found the explosion of iPhone parts online a positive development. He recently ordered Macbook parts online for his son’s computer.

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How to Find the Best Domestic Cat Breed For Your Personality

If you are considering a cat as the family pet you may be wondering which domestic cat breed is best for you. There are so many different types of breeds and the right cat is just waiting to move in. The process is very simple. By asking yourself a few questions about who you are, and knowing a little about various breeds you will be better equipped to make the right decision about which breed to go with.

All people have various personality traits that make them unique, and some people may have a very diverse personality, meaning that they can be very social when the occasion calls for it, yet artistic and quiet at other times. Choose a cat based on your most dominate personality traits.

TYPE A: Funny and Outgoing

People who have a type A personality are very outgoing and cheerful the majority of the time. These people look at the positive side of life. They are innocent and tend to attract the opposite sex. Type A personalities are strong because they always seem to find joy in the simple things that life has to offer.

People, who display these personality trails most of the time, tend to do well with very social energetic vocal cats. Top cat breeds for this personality are: Bengals, Rag dolls, Tonkinese, Manx, Japanese Bobtail, Tabbies, Calicos, Siamese and Abyssinian.

TYPE B: Artistic and Creative

People with type B personalities are very artistic and creative. They love to explore and meet new people, but they also like their quiet time. Crafty people love to work on the next big project and help others by making gifts or serving in some way.

Creative people tend to be more emotional and treasure close relationships, rather than having a lot of friends. Type B personalities do well with social, yet quiet cats. Top cat breeds for this personality are: Bengals, Tiffany, Scottish Fold, Persian, American Curl, Turkish Angora, and the Norwegian Forest Cat.

Type C: Emotional Sensitive and Loving

People with type C personalities are very emotional and sentimental. These people give and receive a lot of respect because of their ethical nature and loving character. They treasure marriage, and avoid arguing at all costs. They try to make amends and keep the peace with everyone they come in contact with. People with these personality traits forgive others quickly.

However, sometimes people who favor these personality traits can be very naïve and other people take advantage of their sweet giving philosophy. These people do very well with loving, affectionate, quiet cats. Top cat breeds for this personality type are: Persian, Turkish Angora, Turkish Van, Angora, Rag Doll, Bengal, Himalayan, and Burmese.

TYPE D: Charming, Successful, Aggressive

People who have this personality type are very aggressive and successful at just about everything they do. However, some of these people will favor the charming ethical side while others will favor the controlling side and step on people in order to get to the top. Type D personalities are not bad, it just depends on how they use their talents. These people tend to be very focused on their outward appearance and sex appeal. They love to have fun and get attention.

Type D personalities do well with beautiful social, unique cats because they love to stand out from the rest of the crowd. Top domestic cat breeds for this personality type are: Bengal, Siamese, Japanese Bobtail, Wild Abyssinian, Ocicat, California Spangled, American Curl, Siamese, Main Coon, Calicos, and Tabbies.

Also remember that even though certain breeds are known for specific personality traits, every cat still has his or her own individual personality. You will still need to spend time with the kitten or cat first to see if you found the right one.

Have fun finding the best domestic cat breed that matches who you are as a person! As a new cat owner, there is still so much more that you need to know. Cats are lovable family pets, but they can be even better additions to the family when they are in top health and when they are properly trained. Get Your Copy of Cat Behavior and Health Secrets Now at:

Taking Care of Number 1

In his timeless business classic Looking Out For Number One, Robert Ringer suggested that in all business dealings the first person you should be concerned with is yourself. Although at first blush this might seem to be a very selfish concept, the reality of it is that if you cannot help yourself it is clearly impossible to help others. Even those with a well-defined altruistic focus must first be able to live and survive themselves in order to help others live and survive as well.

Some entrepreneurs, particularly small business people, wrestle with this concept. They are afraid to demonstrate material wealth and success because they are concerned that their employees – who are in some cases treated like family – will have a negative perception of them. When this becomes the case, the entrepreneur is more concerned about what their employees think than what is best for themselves and their business.

This problem becomes even more pronounced during economic times such as we face right now.

Often there is a reluctance to address these costs because of the extreme negative impact it will have on the released employee’s family. While noble in concept, when a business is struggling, the reluctance to act and reduce labor costs can and will ultimately have a negative impact on the business owner or manager’s family instead. The bottom line is that assuming responsibility for and providing employment to a team of employees adds a whole new layer to the complexities of running a business.

This is why many successful entrepreneurs are choosing to go solo. They are selling their businesses and redirecting their careers into new ventures that they can run and operate by themselves. If it sounds selfish, it is not, because very often these self employment opportunities provide the potential for tremendous income and wealth creation. Although the entrepreneur no longer employs other people, they now have the capability to give back to the community and to society at large. When such is the case, taking care of number one is clearly not a selfish approach-it becomes far more beneficial to society as a whole.


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Training Your Kitten What Not to Do

kitten health
by eva101

OK, we can motivate cats to do what we want – what about when they do things we don’t want? In general, behaviors that go unrewarded will become less and less frequent over time – there is little point in the cat investing energy in an action if it brings no benefit. However, once again we need to think about the nature of the reward. If a cat scratches the wallpaper, it may be as a response to a feeling of threat from another cat and a need to mark its territory to improve its own confidence – the reward is the feeling it gets from carrying out behavior it is highly motivated to do. Without removing the cause of the problem, it is difficult to change the behavior. You may be able to move it onto a more appropriate surface, such as a scratch post, but you need to understand where to put it and why. You need to think like a cat.

In general it is easier to train your kitten to do things than not to do them, especially if something has already become a learned habit. Prevention, as usual, is better than cure. Punishment, whether physical or only vocal, will be associated with the last event that occurred, and the kitten will be very confused about your aggressive behavior.

Many problems are brought on by owners themselves being inconsistent and sometimes by inadvertently teaching the kitten something wrong in the first place. It is important to be consistent from the start and not to allow your kitten to do things you would not appreciate it as it grows into a cat. Many people encourage this by tickling the kitten’s tummy and being amused as it grabs their hands – men are particularly good at these games that push kittens a little too far! Of course, it will be the children who get grabbed rather too hard by the growing kitten in play. It has not learned that it does not get attention if it gets rough – on the contrary, it has been encourage to act in this way and rewarded with heaps of attention.

If you don’t want your cat on the work surfaces in the kitchen, don’t let the kitten go there and don’t leave good out that acts as a reward should the kitten find it there, making it worth exploration in the future. Lift the kitten down each time and praise it for being on the ground.

It you want to be awakened at 5am every morning with demands for food and play, by all means get up and give the kitten attention. It then cannot be blamed for depriving you of a good night’s sleep. Giving in only once a week is enough to reward the kitten and give it the signal that it is worth the effort of waking you. Finally, don’t train your kitten to avoid the litter box by using it as a spot to give medicine.

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Benefits of Cat Training

Cat training is possible as long as you are patient. Cats are one of the most common and preferred house pets because of their cuddly behavior. Apart from these, cats are also favored because they can be trained. Although not as easy as chewing a gum, teaching your pet some manners and tricks is something that requires time, your patience and attention. Oftentimes pet owners forget that their pet is governed by their natural behaviors of what kind of animal they are. In short, training your feline companion to do tricks that are beyond the scope of being a feline then perhaps you should rethink this idea.

Prior to cat training, owners should be able to understand how these animals learn to appropriately impose the activities. These animals actually learn through experience and when they see that the said experience is good or they enjoyed doing it or it is not dangerous to them; then they will try with to repeat it until such time that they are used to it. In a different scenario, if the experience was unpleasant or they feel danger then eventually they will avoid it.

In this sense, owners should remember that any activity that you would want your cat to participate in should be something that is pleasurable and should accompany rewards. Therefore, it should also follow that whatever activities you do not want your cat to indulge or practice should be made into something punishable or not enjoyable.

Why do you have to do cat training? Is it not okay to leave them to do what they want? Well though it needs some of your time, making your cat do something that you want them to is more than just enjoyment not only to the pet but also to the owner, but overall it is actually a form of discipline for your pet.

For owners who need to be convinced to train their pets here are some benefits for this investment:

Damages on your own furniture or other stuff can be greatly reduced or eliminated. Since felines are not self-sufficient organisms, they need to be guided for them not to chew on your sofa or urinate in your houseplants. Apart from inflicting proper behavior, you might also save the lives of your pets and your own because their scratching thing might expose electric circuits or wires.
You will spend too much of your time trying to follow where the smell is coming from and to clean their litter. Since your pets have been trained, they will know where to pee or drop their wastes. In this way, you are also certain that you will not be expecting foul odors somewhere in the corner of your house.
When your pet is trained not to chew or scratch then it will be a relief on your end. This is one of the most important aspects of cat training.

Tom has had pets since he was a young child. He hopes to share many years of experience along with targeted research to help cat owners. This includes cat care as well. For more information, please visit his site today.

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Taking Proper Care Of Your Feet

Between the recommendations for exercise, the demands of errand running, and other tasks that require you to be on your feet and the extra weight you carry towards the end of pregnancy, you may find that your feet swell up and are sore. Water retention can also contribute to this problem.

In addition, as you gain weight your center of gravity will change. When this changes, your weight may be distributed differently on your knees and feet which can be quite uncomfortable at time.

As a result, your posture and other body part alignments can change. There are many foot problems that may be developed as a result.

The most common foot problems developed by pregnant women tend to be overpronation and edema. If these problems are left untreated it can cause even more problems and pain.

Overpronation is the flattening of the foot. This happens because of the extra weight put on the feet.

People who have flat feet tend to let their feet roll in when they are walking. This condition also tends to experience a stressed and inflamed plantar fascia.

Plantar fascia is a ligament or fibrous band of tissue that stretches from the heel to the toes. When this condition is not treated, you may develop Metatarsalgia or Plantar Fasciitis.

Metatarsalgia is severe ball of foot pain and Plantar Fasciitis is severe heel pain. Fortunately, Metatarsalgia and Plantar Fasciitis can be treated in a simple and inexpensive manner.

All you have to do is wear shoes with extra arch support. Often this means wearing athletic shoes and over-the-counter orthotics.

Edema is more commonly known as swelling. The swelling of the feet is a result of the pressure the uterus puts on your circulation.

This causes the liquid in your body to become displaced. Edema is quite common and normal unless the swelling in the feet is accompanied by the swelling of your face and hands.

There are many things you can do to reduce edema. The first thing you will want to try is raising your feet as much as possible.

This will allow gravity to help your circulation. It will help you draw the liquid in your feet back into your body.

It is also a good idea to wear shoes whenever possible. These shoes should be supportive with a rigid sole that will only bend with your toes.

At the same time, these shoes should have enough room to be comfortable even when they are slightly swollen. Constricting your feet will not help your circulation improve, it will simply be uncomfortable.

When you feet swell you may experience more liquid being caught in between your toes. This can lead to bacteria growth and infections, such as athlete’s foot, if you are not careful.

Try to avoid this condition by drying your feet after showers and changing socks when necessary. You may find that you will need to purchase new and bigger shoes later in pregnancy in order to remain comfortable.

Another thing that can help improve your circulation is walking around occasionally. This is especially important if you have been sitting for a long time.

When you are pregnant, it is much easier to develop blood clots that can block your circulation if you do not help it along. Exercising can tremendously help improve your circulation.

Many people find they prefer working out in the convenience and privacy of their own homes. The treadmill is generally not the best machine for women who are pregnant.

The elliptical is usually a much better choice because it can eliminate the up and down bouncing motion that occurs when you run. The up and down bouncing motion can accelerate the condition of your feet and it could hurt your baby.

The elliptical relieves these concerns, but it provides the many benefits of exercising. Through working out on the elliptical you will be able to become physically stronger, improve your circulation, feel better mentally and emotionally, and feel more energized.

As you exercise, you should make sure that you drink plenty of water. Your body needs a lot of water when it is pregnant.

It is generally recommended that you should get at least 64 ounces of water a day while pregnant. You should also avoid salty food, which will increase your body’s water retention.

If the swelling is much more in one foot than the other it is likely that you have developed some complications and that you should get medical help as soon as possible. As you take care of yourself, your pregnancy should proceed perfectly fine though.

Jack Landry is a personal trainer and has authored hundreds of articles relating to physical training and ellipticals. He has been a health expert and physical trainer for over 15 years.

Contact Info:
Jack R. Landry
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